Beauty Products

Mary, Mary Quite Contrary, How Does Your Lady Garden Grow?

mary-mary

 Image from Google

Bush, landing strip, lady garden, carpet, thatch – call it what you will dollface, but today we’re going to be talking about your personal grooming habits or lack thereof. Gwyneth Paltrow has been quoted saying “I work a ‘70s vibe … You know what I mean?” I know what you mean Gwyneth, and I ain’t fully “digging your vibe”. I’m going to reveal a little more about me than some of you wanna know ladies, but I like it all off! I like to be as bare as the day I was born. If you’re a hair on my body and don’t belong on my scalp or eyebrows (and even those bad boys have to get tamed) YOU ARE GONE SUCKER! But hey, if you’re one of those girls that likes to go au naturel and can totally dig Gwyneth’s vibe then you GO GLEN COCO!

Hair removal has been around since the Neolithic era, even those Stone Age babes had muff dilemmas! Whether it be for cultural, sexual, medical or religious reasons de-fuzzing has been a hot topic since the dawn of time! It’s definitely become a lot more prevalent in the last 100 years with the advent of shorter hemlines, bikinis and let’s face it, porn, becoming popular.

eyebrow-threading2

 Image from Google

Some girls (and hey, some dudes too) get a little squeamish when they talk about their pubic hair and I don’t know why. We all have it (and if you don’t I hate you!) and we all have to make a decision whether we “mow our lawns” or like to go “full bush”. I want to break down the wall and stop the stigma around talking about your pubes. My grooming routine consists of; waxing my eyebrows, lip and lady garden – of the Brazilian varietal every 6-8 weeks. I also shave my legs and armpits every other day depending on what the weather is like or what I’m wearing. I also have to pluck about 3-4 stray chin hairs every couple of weeks – yep, it’s a sexy and glamorous life being Rosie!

Underarm-Shave-Armpit

Image from Google

There are so many other methods out there to depilate those pesky pubes; I’ve yet to try threading but I’m super intrigued by it and would love to try getting my eyebrows and lip done. Laser (IPL) removal just scares the crap out of me but I’ve heard such great things about it. I love the idea of a long lasting fix but hate the idea of fricken lasers invading my body. There’s also sugaring, which is similar to waxing, and powders that deaden the hair growth as well as prescription medications. Oh, and there’s always Nair, that shit is just plain nasty and I would urge you NOT to use that! *shudder*

wax

Image from Google

So over to you, hopefully I haven’t lost with all this fuzz talk! What “tools” do you use to tend to your garden?

 

 

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20 replies »

    • Bahaha yes! I like to be a trail blazer! Be careful when you’re shaving ot even waxing at home. I once bruised myself so badly it looked like I’d been punched in the beaver 😫😫

  1. This cracked me up because I was just thinking about the topic the other day. – In terms of the garden, I tidy but it’s generally natural. That’s the way I prefer it and my boyfriend really does too.

  2. Chin hair every couple of weeks…? Try every couple of days! Dark hair problems. Shave the legs every day (unless Andrew is away, then I’ll wait two) and I am so freaking lazy when it comes to my lady garden. If I’m feeling particularly randy before my man gets home then I’ll get the whipper snipper out but seriously – I am too chicken to get a Brazilian. I might need to man up here…

  3. Well, you know I am part-Asian, so I have very little body hair. Also part Native American, and those peeps are pretty hairless. With that combo, my arms are hairless, armpits barely hairy, I can shave my legs every 2 weeks (longer, actually), no biggie. As for the nether-regions, the same. I have always trimmed and shaved a “landing strip” (if you can even call it that). Kind of a sad landing strip. Maybe for a helicopter?? But, that being said, the hair on my head is fine, my eyebrows suck, and I have no eyelashes. So, I am just lacking in the hair department all around. I am actually scared of going for a Brazilian, as the waxer would go, “Um, really????”. True story. I love this subject though!!! Such a trailblazer you are!

  4. Bahahaha! This may be my favourite post yet! Girl you know I run a tight (hairless) ship- except for those odd times of year when the thicket runs untamed and people get lost down there, never to be seen again. Current situation: Amazon jungle chic. Help. I can’t even go to my waxer cos she’ll have to get the lawnmower out…

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