People & Places

Could You Fall In Love With A Stranger?

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The one question that always leaves me stumped for words is “why are you still single?” Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit, where do I start? I mean I think I’m cute, funny and caring. I can tell a great story and I’m a great dresser, I can cut some pretty mad shapes on the d-floor and cook up a tasty meal BUT (there’s always a but) where are all the single, witty, INTELLIGENT lead singers men? I feel like given the right formula anything is possible.

I stumbled upon this article, How to Fall In Love With Anyone, and I was super intrigued. In it it talks about Mandy Len Catron who replicated an old study by psychologist Arthur Aron in which he tested the possibility of two strangers falling in love. Is it possible to CHOOSE to fall in love? My simple answer? Of course!

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Essentially what the experiment did was take a heterosexual man and woman, strangers to each other, who sit in a room across from one another and answer a series of 36 questions (36!! they’re listed below) and then finally sit silently staring into each others eyes for four minutes.

In Aron’s original study the couple ended up getting married, and in Catron’s experiment she’s still dating the guy months later. So what I’m saying is WHO WANTS TO SIT IN A ROOM WITH ME AN ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS?!!

But seriously*, I believe first and foremost that the couple HAVE to be attracted to each other, I don’t care what you say, there has to be something alluring about the other person. I don’t think it could work if there wasn’t a spark of initial sexual attraction. Once there’s a glimmer of bewitchery in the air then of course it’s possible for a pair of strangers to fall in love at the end of it. Especially if you’re speaking honestly and with an open heart.

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At the core of it, when you strip back all the bullshit and game playing that I’ve encountered in the dating world and have a pair of single, willing and available participants then I think you do have a recipe for love.

What do you think? Is it possible for a couple of strangers to fall in love by the end of an experiment? If so, do you have any single, HOT friends??

Here are the 36 questions used in the experiment:

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … ”

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … ”

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

No.-7-Football-is-my-excuse-to-eat-pizza-and-wings-and-not-feel-guilty-about-itYep, that’s about the extent of it!

*I’m serious, if you have a friend I’d love to try this experiment out!

27 replies »

  1. Wow those are some serious questions and amazing statistics! That would be cool to try, definitely.

    Also “Where are all the lead singers” HAHAHA that is my question exactly!

  2. I loved this post 🙂 I get asked frequently why I’m still single. This would be a really cool thing to do- like you I think there has to be mutual attraction. Did you see that video of strangers kissing? YouTube Strangers Kissing- I wonder how many of them dated afterwards 😀 Lexie X

  3. I’m excited with the results if ever you’re really going to try this! 🙂 Haha. You said that there should be at least an initial sexual attraction, right? Then I guess, the guy who will answer those questions with you should pass that first. Hehe.

  4. Yes! Loved it! And you know I completely agree, as per our chat I think as long as the participants are single, willing and open, love could definitely be in the air. I just think love has been distorted and overcomplicated xo

  5. Hi! Loved this blog post. I felt the exact same way when I read about all the questions. I even tried it on my partner…he didn’t take it seriously…”What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?” “Pizza and porn.” but I honestly think I fell in love with my partner WITHOUT being that attracted to him, that came after we worked together. I fell in love with his personality. I know a lot of people say that “Oh but I loved their personality first” and it’s usually a load of bollocks. It’s true – I honestly think these questions would work. Looks only get you so far – You can stare at a pretty face over the breakfast table, but if there is nothing there to stimulate the mind I think the eyes get tired.

    Find someone to try it out on! I want to see the results.

    Btw – love the blog xx

    Kelsie @ kelsieblogs.com.

    • Thanks so much Kelsie!
      I totally agree with you, looks are great but unless there’s something going on upstairs then it’s useless. If you can’t engage me with some amazing conversation and witty banter then I’m afraid it won’t be going any further. But I do love staring at a pretty face 😉 LOL! xo

  6. Now you know Mama Karen is old school (please read this in your best Croatian accent): why you need a questionnaire? What are these questions? Are you going on a Japanese game show (you will need toot-past). #3 question – just talk on the phone. About toot-past. Question #20 – TMI for a stanger. Does he use toot-past?

    Thanks for a good laugh. I need to see your ass soon! Working on our “contact” for fashion week tickets. Yes. Didn’t want to say anything until it was solid. But kinda solid. Will keep you posted!

  7. I love the idea, but some of those questions are so strange; ‘Dow you have a hunch about how you will die?’…I’m guessing ‘alone’ isn’t an acceptable answer!

    sheepishlyshameful.blogspot.co.uk

  8. Love is probably a little strong of a word, but I think that being vulnerable with someone definitely increases the likelihood of strong feelings between two people. This vulnerability is what these questions are trying to create.

    A year ago, I met a guy at a conference and we ended up having a conversation that left us both feeling a bit vulnerable and raw on the second day. While love is a stretch, we did leave having some feelings for each other. I actually have gone to spend a couple of weekends with him this year and just got back from seeing him.

    So yeah, I think that if you are really open to being honest and willing to expose your soul, you can kickstart something with a stranger.

      • Ehh…we don’t call it a relationship yet. Just getting to know each other and enjoying each other’s company. We leave 4 hours (by plane) apart so no use in putting relationship pressure on it while we are learning about each other.

        I saw this research a couple of months ago and I would love to hear the results if you ever try this!

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